When you give a child up for adoption, a variety of feelings may affect you right away. However, as time moves forward, and you're more and more convinced that you did the right thing, you may be comfortable with getting on with your life. However, you may be thinking about the child when his or her birthday approaches each year, and this could lead to some feelings of melancholy as you perhaps miss the child. Instead of simply trying to distract yourself, there are many worthwhile ways that you can pursue this situation. Here are some suggestions.
Have A Private Party
Don't be afraid to move forward by having a private party for your child. There are many different ways that you can approach this idea. Make a meal that you think the child would like and consider making a cake or some cupcakes. As you eat the food, perhaps with family members or perhaps without, you can think of the child. Don't feel silly if you want to put up some birthday decorations such as balloons and streamers, or even wear a party hat. You could even buy some gifts that you think the child would like, and then donate them to a local children's charity with the child in mind.
Visit The Child
If you set up the adoption as an open adoption so that you're in touch with the child's new parents, you might wish to consider visiting the child around his or her birthday. While doing so can be emotional, it may also create positive memories for you. The child doesn't have to know that you're his or her birth parent. Instead, you could simply identify yourself as a friend or the adoptive parents, and perhaps take part in the family's birthday celebration for the child.
Write Down Some Wishes
You might also want to think about your wishes for the child in the coming year and write them down. You may do so with the intention of eventually sharing them with the child, or you may never plan to do so, but find joy in noting these wishes. For example, if the child is about to start school, you could write how you hope that he or she excels in the classroom and makes lots of friends. If you don't mind being public with your thoughts, keeping a blog of this type of content may be enjoyable, and may help you to connect with other parents who have given up children for adoption.